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The foot stompin’, rippin’ good time….. Attie Awards!!!

March 8, 2010

I know, Thomasites, you have been pissing and moaning about the Attie Awards. It is, after all, award season, right? Well, have no fear, they are back and better than ever. Maybe.

Anyway, I have been longing to give this guy an Attie for a long time. Whether it’s his blubbering on tv or his complete meltdowns on complicated issues, he is always entertaining.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mr. Glenn Beck.

Mr. Beck decides to step over into the realm of theology in this delicious rant where he advises people to leave their churches over preaching social justice in their pulpits.

Here is the exact quote:

“I’m begging you, your right to religion and freedom to exercise religion and read all of the passages of the Bible as you want to read them and as your church wants to preach them . . . are going to come under the ropes in the next year. If it lasts that long it will be the next year. I beg you, look for the words ‘social justice’ or ‘economic justice’ on your church Web site. If you find it, run as fast as you can. Social justice and economic justice, they are code words. Now, am I advising people to leave their church? Yes!”

Later, Beck held up cards, one with a hammer and sickle and other with a swastika. “Communists are on the left, and the Nazis are on the right. That’s what people say. But they both subscribe to one philosophy, and they flew one banner. . . . But on each banner, read the words, here in America: ‘social justice.’ They talked about economic justice, rights of the workers, redistribution of wealth, and surprisingly, democracy.”

Ah, yes, what a fine bit of biblical exegesis by Mr. Beck. If you aren’t following Mr. Beck’s logic kids, he is telling you that churches who use social justice as a theme are following President Obama’s evil lefitist agenda. By implicaition, of course, he is telling you that you must be a conservative righ wing republican on social issues or you aren’t following the Bible and your church isn’t being faithful.


Mr. Beck, we here at the Thomas Society advise you not to step over into the realm of theology. You are really bad at it. Quit. Please. Right now. In fact, God commands Christians and Jewish people to be very, very concerened about social justice especially under the Gospel of grace. Indeed, it’s a priority. I’d advise you to read the book of Amos for starters.

The point isn’t whether the Bible supports a liberal or conservative point of view. Because, guess what, it supports neither. It supports the agenda of the Kingdom of God which to some seems horribly conservative and to others, horribly liberal. My guess, Mr. Beck, is that you are in the later camp.

So, Mr. Beck, please go back to doing what you do best, crying on tv. And leave the theology alone.

St. Thomas, release the hounds, but tell them to be careful. They might just be chewing only gristle…

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Tomato Addict permalink
    March 8, 2010 7:46 pm


    Seriously though, is there no bar too low for Glen Beck to ooze under? Don’t answer that, I have a sad feeling I know the answer already.

  2. Richard Eis permalink
    March 9, 2010 1:57 pm

    Isn’t it a bit rich for a mormon to be telling christians how to interpret their bible. They can’t even get their basic american history right for one thing.

  3. Eric Worringer permalink
    March 9, 2010 2:10 pm

    ha! i just laughed out loud in class at Richard’s comment.

  4. ferret wrangler permalink
    March 9, 2010 3:20 pm

    Watch Jon Stewart’s impersonation of Beck, much more entertaining than the real thing.

    Also, South Park’s version of John Smith/Mormon history is spot-on (dum dum dum dum duuuum).

  5. Eric Worringer permalink
    March 9, 2010 3:51 pm

    at least we all can agree on one thing, theists and atheists alike, that Glenn Beck is a moron.

  6. Richard Wade permalink
    March 9, 2010 4:17 pm

    Glenn Beck is easily confused. Here is just a handful of many pairs of things that Glenn Beck cannot tell apart. He doesn’t know the difference between:

    1. communism and fascism.
    2. voluntary charity and compulsive social welfare.
    3. his religion and his imagination.
    4. any opinion differing from his and fundamental evil.
    5. his ass and a hole in the ground.

    Glenn Beck is a self-educated man whose teacher was incompetent and whose pupil was a moron.

    Glenn Beck is the kind of guy who gives lying, frenzied demagogues a bad reputation.

    If you can’t figure out if Glenn Beck is a liar or a fruitcake, he’s really both: First, he starts out consciously lying about these idiotic conspiracies and dire threats, then, impressed by his own performance so much, he comes to believe his own lies.

    But he’s a sensitive guy, bless his little heart. His very, very little heart.

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