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Ho-Ho-Ho- Merry Atties!!!!

December 15, 2009

Ah, ornaments on the tree. Snow on the ground (if you live in the north). Chestnuts roasting and all the crap.

Cranky, scrooge atheists who keep insisting on pointing out that Jesus wasn’t actually born on the 25th of December and how most of our Christmas traditions are pagan in origin.

Yes, that’s right, Thomas lovelies, I’m giving this Attie to all of the atheists who keep insisting Christians don’t really know the real story of our Christmas traditions. If we did, we would realize how hypocritical we are being in celebrating Christmas.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Pssst, we get it. Nearly all Christians accept the fact Jesus wasn’t born on December 25th. We know Christmas was designated to replace Saturn worship. I’ll do you even one better, the church didn’t celebrate the birth of Christ for the first three centuries, because, Origien put it, it’s not fitting for Christ’s birth to be celebrated like a pagan god. It’s not that the early church didn’t care about the date of Jesus’ birth. They just wanted to be sure we weren’t being too pagan about it. We figured out later it wasn’t that big of a deal.

 We know the Christmas tree comes from Germanic pagan tradition along with all the stuff that comes from the Druids.

See, what many of you don’t understand, is that all of our Christmas traditions fit into the mystery of the Incarnation. We believe that Jesus came as a little baby to not just redeem sinners, but to redeem the world. He came to redeem all of human history and traditions. He is the center point of all human history. Christians mostly have no problem with changing pagan traditions and giving them new meaning. We celebrate Christmas gladly. We celebrate Christmas by giving gifts to all people because God gave us the gift of His son. We feast to remember that one day there will be a big feast at the Banquet at the World’s End. We love everything that is beautiful, festive and a reminder of all that’s good.  We take what’s good in any culture in the world and integrate it.

However, that doesn’t mean we don’t know the story. We know. We get it. We have always known it, but have chosen to transform it. We have chosen to let the Incarnation change the world.  It isn’t really a big secret. So, you atheist Scrooge’s don’t really need to keep reminding of us, as if that’s going to change our minds. It won’t. We will make you a deal. We won’t keep insisting on putting Nativity scenes in public places and you’ll spare us the condescending supposed history lesson. Deal?

So, St. Thomas, decorate the hounds, and release them. Give the atheist scrooges a good joyful bark of “Merry Christmas”. 

Then give them a fruitcake. Ok, that’s mean. Give them some of grandma’s spiked punch. They’ll like that better. I’ll take some while you are at it.

14 Comments leave one →
  1. December 15, 2009 7:34 pm

    *You* may know the history of Christmas, but many – actually, I’d hazard a guess that *most* Christians do not. If I didn’t have to constantly hear “Jesus is the reason for the season,” “Put CHRIST back in CHRISTmas,” and other things based on ignorance of Christmas’s history, I wouldn’t care. But after constantly being told that I’m celebrating Christmas wrong, or that I’m not even allowed to celebrate Christmas, I’m sick of it. Christmas has always been a holiday for everyone, and I’m not letting people steal it away from be because of their holier-than-thou attitude. Feel free to celebrate Christmas with the Jesus factor – because it’s about celebrating it your way. I plan on celebrating it secularly – that’s why I say Merry Christmas and not Happy Holidays, because to me and many others, Christmas has nothing to do with Christianity.

    If anything, the theists on a Christmas crusade deserve an attie, not atheists for pointing out FACTS.

  2. thomas2026 permalink*
    December 15, 2009 7:39 pm

    Actually, Jen, I did give theists an Attie for such absurdities. Remember, we are equal opportunty offenders here.

  3. thomas2026 permalink*
    December 15, 2009 7:42 pm

    And remember, the Atties are all in good fun.

  4. December 15, 2009 7:50 pm


    Keep your more ignorant brethren in check with this fact and I’ll gladly accept this Attie with a bow.

    Personally, I love Christmas, Jesus myth and all. It’s a sweet story if it’s viewed as just a story with an interesting moral. I love all the old Christmas carols, nativity scenes (on private property of course), all the fluff and whatnot.

    I must admit a particular guilty Christmas pleasure:
    making Christians think twice about Christmas trees with Jeremiah 10:
    1 Hear what the LORD says to you, O house of Israel. 2 This is what the LORD says:
    “Do not learn the ways of the nations
    or be terrified by signs in the sky,
    though the nations are terrified by them.

    3 For the customs of the peoples are worthless;
    they cut a tree out of the forest,
    and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel.

    4 They adorn it with silver and gold;
    they fasten it with hammer and nails
    so it will not totter.

    5 Like a scarecrow in a melon patch,
    their idols cannot speak;
    they must be carried
    because they cannot walk.
    Do not fear them;
    they can do no harm
    nor can they do any good.”

    I know it’s not a real argument against the modern Christmas tree, but it gets some funny reactions 🙂

  5. December 15, 2009 7:52 pm

    Oops, missed the first Attie, my bad. And I know the Atties are in good fun, this topic just annoys the crap out of me. And I’m hopped up on drugs right now, which probably doesn’t help.

  6. thomas2026 permalink*
    December 15, 2009 7:55 pm

    I saw that on your blog. Sorry you are sick! That sucks.

    Anyway, no worries. The topic annoys me too. And, you are right about folks on my end of the fence.

  7. Vicki permalink
    December 15, 2009 8:00 pm


    I am a Christian and I totally agree that most (so-called) Christians don’t know the truth of which you spoke. I believe that is because many are Christians in name only…lacking the desire to know their namesake in a close and personal way. I for one am glad when Christmas in celebrated by anyone in any way (I think I believe that, though someone may come along and challenge that in a way I’m not able to think of at this time). I believe that despite how anyone celebrates is still honoring to God…

    Have a very Merry Christmas and I will pray that the reality of it becomes more evident every day….

  8. December 15, 2009 9:11 pm

    You know, that’s all well and good, until something happens like my mother described yesterday. Some random stranger was chatting to her (in New York, this is not weird) and then said “You know that Jesus was born on Christmas, right?”

    As far as I’m concerned, this is an absolutely free pass to say “No, in fact, he wasn’t.” Slap me with an Attie if you want, call me a Scrooge, but if someone comes up in my face with that kind of misinformation, I am happily going to correct it. I don’t care what ignorance people display in the privacy of their own homes and families, but when they personally bring it to me (or my mother, who is very well equipped to deal with this nonsense as well), I am going to say something.

    And as a secular Jew whose happiest day of December is when we get our Christmas tree, I say to you with total sincerity: Merry Christmas!

  9. thomas2026 permalink*
    December 15, 2009 9:56 pm

    Zen Monkey,
    I think you should feel free to correct. That really wasn’t the point of the Attie. So, tell away and tell them a preacher sent ya!

    Merry Christmas right back you.

  10. Richard Eis permalink
    December 16, 2009 5:30 am

    Oh dear, I knew there would be tinselled trouble for mentioning wintermass.

    ho ho ho

  11. AdamK permalink
    December 16, 2009 10:38 am

    My favorite christmas tradition is when they make up annoying jokey lyrics to the tunes of already-annoying christmas carols and use them for commercial jingles which they run repeatedly on tv, starting in October. Merry!

    Celebrating the solstice and the fact that the days start getting longer doesn’t seem pagan to me, just a natural thing you would expect humans to do, whatever their traditions.

    (I prefer carnations to incarnations, though.)

    So happy solstice to you all, peace on earth, and good will toward humans and other members of the biosphere! Sol invictus est!

  12. December 16, 2009 10:58 am

    I don’t know how any church-going Christian *wouldn’t* know the pagan origins of many of our Christmas traditions… it seems like every congregation has “that guy” who is angrily telling everyone that there shouldn’t be Christmas trees in church (yup, because of Jeremiah 10, just like Michael mentioned) or the fact that Santa Claus is either evil or (even worse) Catholic AND evil.

    In sort of related theme, I know at least one guy who was trying to get us to stop calling Easter by it’s pagan goddess name and to switch it in for “Firstfruits.” I guess it’s easier in countries like China where the missionaries named the holidays. Christmas is the “holy birthday festival” and Easter is “Jesus Christ resurrection day festival.” Gets rid of all the confusion. 🙂

  13. Ms. Crazy Pants permalink
    December 21, 2009 3:11 pm

    I had to come back to this one, because it’s stuff like the following article that gets people reminding the Christians of their own history:,0,1989015.story

  14. Joffan permalink
    December 21, 2009 6:40 pm

    Favorite Christmas-themed cartoon:
    Mary on donkey, furious, saying to Joseph: “I’m pregnant, and you didn’t make a reservation? At Christmas??”

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